無 / 有 – Sungwon Peter Choe Online

From Sex to Kosmic Konsciousness

I’ve been attending a book study on Think and Grow Rich given by Robert Taylor of One Amazing Life (the first and only English/Korean bi-lingual life consultant company in Korea), so I’ve been carrying around Napoleon Hill’s classic with me.

My first time reading over the book a couple years ago, I avoided the chapter on sex transmutation assuming that it would be a kind of moralistic tract that would try to convince me not to have sex. And I didn’t want to hear that, I wanted to have sex! But the truth of the text is deeper and more beautiful.

Finally reading this chapter on the subway just now was a quiet revelatory experience that I felt as it surged up my spine and bathed me in gentle, subtle energies that drew the gazes of a few who were subconsciously attuned to it as I walked through the bus terminal. It is amazing what simple text can do to inspire.

The Creative Impulse

Napoleon Hill states in so many words that sex energy is the source of all creativity, that can be put to either creative use or squandered. This is an amazing truth, but I think calling it sex energy confuses the concept with associations to its base physical expression.

Andrew Cohen speaks of the creative impulse (that I wrote about in my first post). I assume that this is the driving impetus of the Kosmos. The meaning of life! To grow and evolve through increasingly higher levels of expression.

I experienced the feeling of this evolutionary push at Integral Spiritual Experience recently in a breakaway session led by Craig Hamilton, one of Cohen’s students. He led us through a group meditation following the path of evolution from the Big Bang to human consciousness. We spoke, expressing the thoughts and feelings of the group. I felt a growing, surging creative force as we “evolved”. It was vastly powerful and constantly, urgently surging forward, infinitely pouring itself into expression. This is also a dangerous force, without direction it would veer off into destructive outlets just as easily as creative ones.

I believe this is the same force that Napoleon Hill speaks of. Sex energy. Creative energy. I will define “sex energy”, however, as being the physical expression of this force. It is, perhaps, the highest level of this force that our evolutionary ancestors and our animal cousins reached. Evolution through reproduction. But we are no longer limited to evolution through reproduction alone. We are potential masters of not only the evolution of mind, but of consciousness itself.

Sex and Attraction

Thus, sex without any other context than base animal desire, provides little or no spiritual or evolutionary value. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! It has its place, of course, but once you’ve fully indulged in that experience and have nothing more to learn from it, you are not growing and you are spending your creative energies. If you fixate on it and overindulge, you are in fact regressing and may even be engaging in self-destructive behavior. That is not to say that sex within other contexts is not spiritual. Sex with love is profound. And within some tantric traditions, spiritual practice through sexual intercourse, the manifest union of feminine and masculine, is the only way to reach the highest levels of consciousness.

Let’s take a look at attraction from this perspective. Men whose only form of creative expression is through base sex reduce their attractive potential to simply their physical traits. As humans, they have aspirations for creative expression, but they do not have a creative outlet for this energy and thus spend it only in sexual indulgence or other kinds of addiction. One of the fundamental reasons that video games are “fun” are they appeal to a man’s need to express himself through growing and evolving, “leveling up”.

Men who express their creative energy through artistic expression or business success are much more attractive. They are attractive at higher levels of expression. They have learned to cultivate this energy, so not only do they pursue higher levels of expression, they may have even more sexual energy for physical expression.

Men who are at the leading edge of consciousness not only ride the wave of evolution, but steer it. Kosmic kreative energy flows through them. They are manifest beings of creative energy. These are men who have presence that goes beyond simple sexual or romantic attractiveness.

(Here I’ve spoken mainly of men, but there are sure to be parallel levels of creative expression in women, it may just take different forms.)

Expression

Another insight from ISE for me was that negative emotion is often the result of blocked expression. Not choosing outlets for creative expression is unhealthy to say the least. At the same time it is, of course, perfectly natural. There is negative, so we can have positive. And opposites attract. If you desire to evolve and express yourself (and you probably do unless you’re dead), you can see your negative emotions and experiences as pointing out to you how you can evolve and where to express yourself. Indeed, greatest heights of insight and inspiration often follow from moments of greatest weakness and despair. All you need is the presence of heart to look up and see you are loved, oh but you are so loved.

Integral Spiritual Experience Year 1: Day 1

(update: Jan. 21, 2010)

Integral Spiritual Experience Year 1

The Personal Spiritual Journey: Your Unique Self

Wednesday, December 30th

This conference was a profound experience for me. I wish to document it here to work through what I learned and felt.

3:00-6:00pm Registration

I’d spent a week with my sister and nephew in Hawaii, basking in the sun, eating delicious and recovering from a cold. The overnight flight landed me in SFO before 7am with only a few hours of sleep. I took the Monterey AirBus to Asilomar, thinking that I could check-in early and rest. No such luck. With 4 hours before check-in I fell asleep sitting up trying to read Neal Stephenson’s new novel Anathem until more and more people arrived around me crescendoing into a rush of activity.

I stepped into line to register for ISE, re-opening my book. A voice behind me, “You must have amazing concentration.” This was Thomas. A retired mailman who had made it big selling cell phone frequencies to large carriers. We engaged in light conversation. Gray (but not white)-haired and bearded, he was a masculine but friendly character, like a calm and caring shop teacher. He was a reassuring presence (not that reassurance was needed during this unique event) as I passed him from time to time over the next few days.

I checked in to my accommodations, something between a hotel and summer camp lodge. Mark burst in the door as soon as I’d settled in. He was immediately dialoging me in Integral Theory, throwing out jargon like a sailor spewing profanity. “This guy is a total integral nerd,” I remarked to myself, ignorant of the spiritual and emotional depth my soon-to-be friend was capable of.

Mark had mentioned his friend Wesley was right behind him, but minutes passed without sight or sound of this mysterious fellow. “I was looking for my key,” he said when he finally appeared. Yep, he’d lost his key before even getting to his room. Wesley was in many ways the complete opposite of his good friend Mark, The Organized, but he also brought a depth of knowledge and experience that would later surprise and educate me. We all headed to dinner, throwing out jokes as we got used to each other’s sense of humor.

Actually found a photo of me standing in line for registration (photo by Mathias Weitbrecht)

7:30-8:00 Keynote / Brother David Steindl-Rast

But Brother David was unable to attend the event. I was disappointed as I had been looking forward to hearing from him. Rabbi Marc Gafni filled in and gave a speech on showing up completely for this experience. I took it to heart and opened myself up to committing to the next few days despite my initial reservations about Rabbi Gafni’s speaking style which was strangely reminiscent of a Christian Televangelist. This guy’s a Rabbi?? I would soon come to respect him deeply, flamboyant presence included.

8:15-10:30 Kirtan / Krishna Das

Looking at the schedule before coming to ISE, I had started to have some reservations about the seemingly hippy-ish aspects of the conference, such as the chanting sessions that was about to begin (these reservations quickly dissipated as I realized the intelligence and the depth of this conference). These were led by Krishna Das, who, between the very long chant pieces, would recant these engaging, hilarious stories. He looked and sounded a little like Jeffrey Tambor (George Bluth, Sr. on Arrested Development).

Krishna Das and band

After two long chants of call and response, I figured I’d more or less gotten the point. However, I had promised myself I would commit to the whole experience and resisted leaving with the trickle of crowd that edged its way to the door. As the chants went on and on, the music got better and I relaxed more into the experience, letting it to take me over. I felt connected to my fellow chanters and began to let myself surrender to God in the 2nd person. By the time I found myself chanting “Hare Krishna”, I was completely free of the negative cultural associations I had for this particular chant (despite a Hare Krishna giving me a book when I was 13 being the impetus for me becoming a vege… err.. pescetarian) and was able to enjoy it simply for what it was.

When we got back to the room, we met our new roommate Jun. The four of us would soon become dear friends.

My reservations of what awaited me the next couple days was replaced with an excitement as if we were rounding the top of a hill, catching the first few glimpses of the luscious green of the valley about to explode into view.