無 / 有 – Sungwon Peter Choe Online

From Sex to Kosmic Konsciousness

I’ve been attending a book study on Think and Grow Rich given by Robert Taylor of One Amazing Life (the first and only English/Korean bi-lingual life consultant company in Korea), so I’ve been carrying around Napoleon Hill’s classic with me.

My first time reading over the book a couple years ago, I avoided the chapter on sex transmutation assuming that it would be a kind of moralistic tract that would try to convince me not to have sex. And I didn’t want to hear that, I wanted to have sex! But the truth of the text is deeper and more beautiful.

Finally reading this chapter on the subway just now was a quiet revelatory experience that I felt as it surged up my spine and bathed me in gentle, subtle energies that drew the gazes of a few who were subconsciously attuned to it as I walked through the bus terminal. It is amazing what simple text can do to inspire.

The Creative Impulse

Napoleon Hill states in so many words that sex energy is the source of all creativity, that can be put to either creative use or squandered. This is an amazing truth, but I think calling it sex energy confuses the concept with associations to its base physical expression.

Andrew Cohen speaks of the creative impulse (that I wrote about in my first post). I assume that this is the driving impetus of the Kosmos. The meaning of life! To grow and evolve through increasingly higher levels of expression.

I experienced the feeling of this evolutionary push at Integral Spiritual Experience recently in a breakaway session led by Craig Hamilton, one of Cohen’s students. He led us through a group meditation following the path of evolution from the Big Bang to human consciousness. We spoke, expressing the thoughts and feelings of the group. I felt a growing, surging creative force as we “evolved”. It was vastly powerful and constantly, urgently surging forward, infinitely pouring itself into expression. This is also a dangerous force, without direction it would veer off into destructive outlets just as easily as creative ones.

I believe this is the same force that Napoleon Hill speaks of. Sex energy. Creative energy. I will define “sex energy”, however, as being the physical expression of this force. It is, perhaps, the highest level of this force that our evolutionary ancestors and our animal cousins reached. Evolution through reproduction. But we are no longer limited to evolution through reproduction alone. We are potential masters of not only the evolution of mind, but of consciousness itself.

Sex and Attraction

Thus, sex without any other context than base animal desire, provides little or no spiritual or evolutionary value. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! It has its place, of course, but once you’ve fully indulged in that experience and have nothing more to learn from it, you are not growing and you are spending your creative energies. If you fixate on it and overindulge, you are in fact regressing and may even be engaging in self-destructive behavior. That is not to say that sex within other contexts is not spiritual. Sex with love is profound. And within some tantric traditions, spiritual practice through sexual intercourse, the manifest union of feminine and masculine, is the only way to reach the highest levels of consciousness.

Let’s take a look at attraction from this perspective. Men whose only form of creative expression is through base sex reduce their attractive potential to simply their physical traits. As humans, they have aspirations for creative expression, but they do not have a creative outlet for this energy and thus spend it only in sexual indulgence or other kinds of addiction. One of the fundamental reasons that video games are “fun” are they appeal to a man’s need to express himself through growing and evolving, “leveling up”.

Men who express their creative energy through artistic expression or business success are much more attractive. They are attractive at higher levels of expression. They have learned to cultivate this energy, so not only do they pursue higher levels of expression, they may have even more sexual energy for physical expression.

Men who are at the leading edge of consciousness not only ride the wave of evolution, but steer it. Kosmic kreative energy flows through them. They are manifest beings of creative energy. These are men who have presence that goes beyond simple sexual or romantic attractiveness.

(Here I’ve spoken mainly of men, but there are sure to be parallel levels of creative expression in women, it may just take different forms.)

Expression

Another insight from ISE for me was that negative emotion is often the result of blocked expression. Not choosing outlets for creative expression is unhealthy to say the least. At the same time it is, of course, perfectly natural. There is negative, so we can have positive. And opposites attract. If you desire to evolve and express yourself (and you probably do unless you’re dead), you can see your negative emotions and experiences as pointing out to you how you can evolve and where to express yourself. Indeed, greatest heights of insight and inspiration often follow from moments of greatest weakness and despair. All you need is the presence of heart to look up and see you are loved, oh but you are so loved.

Integral Spiritual Experience Year 1: Day 1

(update: Jan. 21, 2010)

Integral Spiritual Experience Year 1

The Personal Spiritual Journey: Your Unique Self

Wednesday, December 30th

This conference was a profound experience for me. I wish to document it here to work through what I learned and felt.

3:00-6:00pm Registration

I’d spent a week with my sister and nephew in Hawaii, basking in the sun, eating delicious and recovering from a cold. The overnight flight landed me in SFO before 7am with only a few hours of sleep. I took the Monterey AirBus to Asilomar, thinking that I could check-in early and rest. No such luck. With 4 hours before check-in I fell asleep sitting up trying to read Neal Stephenson’s new novel Anathem until more and more people arrived around me crescendoing into a rush of activity.

I stepped into line to register for ISE, re-opening my book. A voice behind me, “You must have amazing concentration.” This was Thomas. A retired mailman who had made it big selling cell phone frequencies to large carriers. We engaged in light conversation. Gray (but not white)-haired and bearded, he was a masculine but friendly character, like a calm and caring shop teacher. He was a reassuring presence (not that reassurance was needed during this unique event) as I passed him from time to time over the next few days.

I checked in to my accommodations, something between a hotel and summer camp lodge. Mark burst in the door as soon as I’d settled in. He was immediately dialoging me in Integral Theory, throwing out jargon like a sailor spewing profanity. “This guy is a total integral nerd,” I remarked to myself, ignorant of the spiritual and emotional depth my soon-to-be friend was capable of.

Mark had mentioned his friend Wesley was right behind him, but minutes passed without sight or sound of this mysterious fellow. “I was looking for my key,” he said when he finally appeared. Yep, he’d lost his key before even getting to his room. Wesley was in many ways the complete opposite of his good friend Mark, The Organized, but he also brought a depth of knowledge and experience that would later surprise and educate me. We all headed to dinner, throwing out jokes as we got used to each other’s sense of humor.

Actually found a photo of me standing in line for registration (photo by Mathias Weitbrecht)

7:30-8:00 Keynote / Brother David Steindl-Rast

But Brother David was unable to attend the event. I was disappointed as I had been looking forward to hearing from him. Rabbi Marc Gafni filled in and gave a speech on showing up completely for this experience. I took it to heart and opened myself up to committing to the next few days despite my initial reservations about Rabbi Gafni’s speaking style which was strangely reminiscent of a Christian Televangelist. This guy’s a Rabbi?? I would soon come to respect him deeply, flamboyant presence included.

8:15-10:30 Kirtan / Krishna Das

Looking at the schedule before coming to ISE, I had started to have some reservations about the seemingly hippy-ish aspects of the conference, such as the chanting sessions that was about to begin (these reservations quickly dissipated as I realized the intelligence and the depth of this conference). These were led by Krishna Das, who, between the very long chant pieces, would recant these engaging, hilarious stories. He looked and sounded a little like Jeffrey Tambor (George Bluth, Sr. on Arrested Development).

Krishna Das and band

After two long chants of call and response, I figured I’d more or less gotten the point. However, I had promised myself I would commit to the whole experience and resisted leaving with the trickle of crowd that edged its way to the door. As the chants went on and on, the music got better and I relaxed more into the experience, letting it to take me over. I felt connected to my fellow chanters and began to let myself surrender to God in the 2nd person. By the time I found myself chanting “Hare Krishna”, I was completely free of the negative cultural associations I had for this particular chant (despite a Hare Krishna giving me a book when I was 13 being the impetus for me becoming a vege… err.. pescetarian) and was able to enjoy it simply for what it was.

When we got back to the room, we met our new roommate Jun. The four of us would soon become dear friends.

My reservations of what awaited me the next couple days was replaced with an excitement as if we were rounding the top of a hill, catching the first few glimpses of the luscious green of the valley about to explode into view.

We Are The Stories We Tell Ourselves

“I can’t dance.”

“I only date older men.”

“I can’t seem to wake up early these days.”

“I’m a morning person.”

“I can’t start my day until I’ve had my coffee.”

“I can’t sing.”

“I’m a visual person.”

“Life is unfair.”

“I’m just an amateur.”

“Why do girls always like assholes?”

“Life is an adventure.”

“I must be getting old.”

“I’ve always been lucky.”

“I can eat whatever I want and never gain weight.”

“I’m addicted to chocolate.”

We all tell little stories about ourselves, to ourselves and to others. Sometimes we don’t even really “know” something about ourselves until we say it out loud. Usually, we tell these stories when we notice a pattern of experience. We might test out an observation in conversation or thought.

“Hmm, girls with family problems seem attracted to and comfortable around me.”

Then we draw a conclusion from it.

“Spiritual practice must be paying off for me. Chicks must be sensing my peaceful vibe. [pats self on back]“

This in turn, can shape how you experience reality.

“I must be more attractive now to girls who are seeking masculine calm and stability. See? If I smile at this girl, she smiles back.”

Beliefs Form Experience Form Beliefs

We form beliefs derived from observing our own experiences in the environment. This is another interpretation of our individual => socio-cultural environment feedback loop. For our purposes here, let’s think of it as the belief => experience feedback loop.

Now the experiences we observe and the patterns we draw from them are largely colored by our emotional state and deeply held core beliefs about ourselves and reality in general. There’s rarely anything objective about it. Our individual experiences are decidedly not a good representation of the experiences of the population at large.

For example, I go to a restaurant twice in a row and happen to get bad service both times. “Oh, that place sucks,” I tell my friends. But of course, my experience is not statistically significant in the least (you’d need a sample of certain number of people, at least 30 or so, I think). We cannot yet say with any reasonable degree of certainty if any other person there would be more or less likely to experience good service (this is a scientific 3rd person perspective). I also cannot say whether this your reality without asking you (2nd person).

Note that it doesn’t mean my experience is not valid. Far from it, it colors my unique perspective of reality. To me, that the restaurant offers bad service is near-fact in my unique vision of reality. But we must not confuse this 1st perspective reality by generalizing it to then say it is true for 2nd and 3rd person perspectives as well.

Stories Color Our Reality

To look at the first example again, I could just as easily interpret my meeting girls with family problems in a different way if I was in a more negative mood and had core beliefs consistent with lower self-worth or a more cynical outlook.

“Man, why do I always meet psychos with family problems?”

I would then have expectations of the next girl I meet to have some kind of emotional problems, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy as I look for them. (Note even the more positive conclusions drawn above are generalizations based more on my beliefs than a rational understanding of my experiences.)

Of course, we can never have perfect information (it might not even exist! that would mean there was an objective, i.e. trans-perspective not 3rd person, reality and I really ain’t sure about that). We must necessarily draw hasty and illogical conclusions formed into our stories to get on with our lives, hell, even to have personalities!

Then why should we care about the beliefs about and colors of our experiences? Well, there’s no reason to care if you’re content with the experiences you have. But becoming aware of these stories we tell ourselves, we can become masters of our own fates, directing our own narrative rather than having it direct us.

A master storyteller creates her own reality.

“I create my own reality.”

I like that story.

Guide to Growth: Introducing the Whole Self

(2010/1/6 note: the Whole Self is not a good name for this visualization technique. I need to rewrite it.)

Why Is This Still Happening To Me?

In a previous article, I talked about the need to develop a new perspective in order to move beyond your current set of experiences and enjoy a new reality. Easier said than done, right? In this article, I’ll introduce a belief system that acts as a powerful spiritual guide for your own development, enabling you to continuously develop through new perspectives and personal realities.

Individual and Environment

There is a mutually influential feedback loop between an individual and her environment (see Individual and Socio-Cultural Environment in Synergy). The structure of the socio-cultural environment provides a set of beliefs and values (the culture) that shape the thoughts and feelings of an individual. The thoughts and feelings of an individual causes her to take action in her environment, effecting change within it and so on.

The individual shapes the environment and vice versa.

Which of these has the more powerful influence on the other, the individual or her environment? Most of us adopt the belief that we are victims of circumstance, shaped and shat upon by our environment. The question “Why is this happening to me” itself takes this stance; that one is powerless in the face of the overwhelming reality of one’s socio-economic circumstances, looks, skills or just plain luck. So, what can you do to change your life with this belief? Not very much. Wait to be “discovered”. Play the lottery. Hope your boss will give you a raise. Hope that girl over there makes eye contact with you. Good luck with that.

Complete Responsibility

Now, the opposite belief of being a victim of circumstance is that you are in control. You effect change in your environment. Take this to the extreme: You are completely responsible for everything you experience. Yeah. Everything. It is an incredibly empowering belief. Imagine, if you have created your entire meaningless and pitiful existence, then you have the power to create an entirely new, meaningful and exhilarating existence. Your life can be a work of beauty, with you as the artist. (This belief system also has the added benefit that it seems to be closest to the truth.)

There are also dark and difficult implications of this belief system, however. How can you be responsible if you are a victim of war, rape, torture? I’ve struggled to understand this and I’m afraid I have found no satisfying answer. But intuitively I believe that everything, every horrible thing imaginable, has a place in the Kosmos, otherwise it would not exist. Allowing the universe its dark mysteries, we employ this belief system not to blame victims, but to empower them to move beyond victimhood.

Everything has a place in the Kosmos, maybe even you!

Beliefs

So we are completely responsible for our reality. But what are our tools? How do we shape our brave new world? The same way we created our current reality: with our thoughts and beliefs. Our beliefs are the single most powerful way we understand reality. We literally cannot perceive anything that does not exist within our belief systems. Another way to look at it is that we create our reality through our beliefs. (For more on how are beliefs shape our reality, see The Nature of Personal Reality)

You’re lazy because you believe you are lazy. You’re a night person because you believe you’re a night person. You’re fat because you believe you’re fat. You’re not creative because you believe you’re not creative. You’re sick because you believe you’re sick. And so on. Then to grow, we Just need to throw out limiting beliefs and adopt empowering ones. It really is that simple. But it’s not always so easy, is it?

Present Reality Reinforces Old Beliefs

Any self-development program or deep practice you embark on starts with the belief that you can grow or change. But then, after a few weeks you’re off your diet, back to your smokes, your daily dream journal gathering dust, whatever it is. Why does this always happen, huh? Because your environment provides more negative reinforcement than the power of positive thinking that got you started. And you believe more in your environment and your limiting beliefs than your empowering ones.

Your current reality is continually reinforced by your environment (it’s hard to Think and Grow Rich when you’re surrounded by reminders of your poverty), your friends and family (they have expectations of you to be consistent with your past behavior), and most of all your own patterns of thoughts and beliefs.

Two Months

Actor Vincent Regan (the Captain) during his 1st week of training for 300 at Gym Jones

As a friend in the pick-up community once related to me, it takes two months of practice or work (on your mind or body) before you see results. So the body and mind you have now is the result of what you were doing two months ago. Conversely, whatever you are doing now shapes who you’ll be in a couple months.

Vincent after 8 weeks of training for 300 at Gym Jones

Identity-Level Change

Have you ever worked on changing yourself or starting a new practice for more than two months? When you do, you start to identify with your new practice, it becomes part of you. After more than two years of training, I now strongly identify myself with the martial art that I do, Gicheonmun. I invariably mention it when new acquaintances ask about my work and play. This identification keeps me strongly motivated to continue training at least a few times a week, even when I’d rather just sit on my ass.

Your Whole Self

Now wouldn’t it be great if you could harness the motivation of identity-level change before you’d even changed? Why yes, yes it would. This is exactly what creating the belief in your Whole Self gives you.

Your Whole Self is you beyond space and time. Your spiritual energy as it is manifested at any point in space-time up until its ultimate perfection (or wholeness). Your Whole Self is your spiritual guide. It shows you slices of your potential future selves (and all possibilities are open).

To effect change in yourself now, you simply awaken your imagination to who you want to be at some point in the future. Your Whole Self will tell you what you need to do now to realize that future self as you imagine it. Your Whole Self speaks to you through your intuition and you tell it what you want through your imagination.

As your body and your circumstances now are the result of your past actions, so too are your present actions manifested in the future. Your Whole Self tells you what actions to take to manifest the future self that you want. If you are in touch with your Whole Self, you will always know what to do (”right action”, as the sages call it) to stay on the right path.

Your Whole Self is your self existing throughout space-time, whole and perfect (cover art to Cynic's Focus album by Robert Venosa)

A Taste

I discovered my Whole Self while meditating last week. While doing the meditation exercise my master had given me, I became aware of the physical character of my thoughts, and the thought-like character of my actions, all intertwined. I realized I could project my own reality, my future self, to guide me. Since then, I often imagine a future self walking within me or in front of me. A real potential being present as energy. Me, but more confident and vibrant, taller and more fit, completely healthy and wearing a nicer outfit ( ). He laughs with me, remembering the silly mistakes he made along the way that I’m making now, and is incredibly patient and compassionate. Knowing that there already is a “you” who has accomplished what you want to accomplish, and is what you want to become, is incredibly liberating and empowering. You need but follow the path of “right action”.

This article is a taste meant to introduce the Whole Self. I’m sure I’ll probably be writing a lot more about the Whole Self as I come to understand more about it.

Why Does This Keep Happening To Me?

You always end up in relationships with guys who like to conserve water by not flushing. You always argue with your girlfriend about how many ex-girlfriend tattoos you have (what’s her problem, anyway??). You always get stuck with chicken-beheading duty down at the ranch. Why don’t things change? Why don’t you ever have any luck?

To put it bluntly, you’re not ready for change. You’re not ready to change. You’re used to and comfortable with things the way they are. One way to look at it is that you haven’t learned what you’re “supposed” to have learned from a particular level of experience, so you can’t move on. You’re doomed to repeat it. Everyday is Groundhog Day (imdb | amazon).

Bill Murray and friend in Groundhog Day

What? Does the universe really conspire to provide you with experiences that are valuable lessons? Are you really the center of the universe, a special snowflake? Yes and no. It’s simply that whatever level of consciousness, emotional development or morality you’re at is how you’ll experience pretty much everything. For the purposes of self-development, reality is absolutely (haha) subjective. Your understanding of every experience you have is filtered through your own unique perspective. Hell, even if you are capable of being aware of having a certain experience is based on your interpretative framework, your ability to be aware of it in the first place. The universe doesn’t have to prepare a conspiracy of lesson plans for you. The way you perceive any experience is itself the teaching. (But you are a special snowflake! Who’s a special snowflake? Yes, you are! Daddy’s wittle fluffy-wuffy special snowflake!)

You're a special snowflake! =^.^=

Thus you do not change because your understanding of reality remains fixed. If you always interpret a similar experience in the same way, you will always have the same experience. If you always respond with the same action, you’ll always get the same result.

So how do you break out of your current reality? If you want to experience something new, if you want to change, you have to develop a new understanding, a new perspective, and then respond accordingly. Or you can do it the other way around and change your behavior first, see what happens, and then develop a new interpretive framework.

Developing a New Perspective

For social relationships, the easiest way to gain a new perspective is to take that of the person with whom you are in relationship with.

For example, how could she do that to me? I don’t know, that’s a good question, isn’t it? Let’s actually try to answer it.

Adopt her perspective for a moment with compassion. Have you ever done something like that? Could you ever do something like that? Once you have developed some compassion for her perspective, it looks less and less like she’s wronged you. You may have simply expected more from her than she’s ready to give. Maybe she doesn’t express her affection in ways that you need (some respond more to words, others deeds, still others physical affection). Can you still be upset at her when you can empathize with her perspective? Well, yeah, I guess you could, but you’d start to feel silly about it after a while.

Taking another perspective like this allows you to take back control over the situation. You can not easily control another person (at least not without being a major dick). You can not easily force them to change (most of us aren’t ready to, right?). But you can control how you interpret the situation and how you respond. Since reality is subjective anyhow, changing your perspective of the situation will actually change the situation. That doesn’t mean you always get what you want; it means you can control whether not getting what you want will upset you or not. (It might, however, help you stop looking for what you want in the wrong places…)

(Note that the Integral 3-2-1 process describes a similar, more detailed way of using perspectives to work through your own psyche. It’s an excellent technique for dealing with your Shadow.)

New Action: Outside the Comfort Zone

Changing your behavior entails taking new action. You can tell when you’re taking new action when you’re outside your comfort zone. So if you want to take new action that will lead to growth, you have to do something you’re afraid of (not mortally, of course, don’t go skinny dipping in piranha-infested waters because you misunderstood me). Tim Ferris even argues that defining your fears may be more important than defining your goals. Generally, facing your fears will change your reality fairly automatically. You’ll be doing things you never imagined that you could do. You gain confidence. Your sense of self expands.

Note that while moving outside of your comfort zone when you’re ready leads to growth, being forced too far outside your comfort zone leads to trauma. A 13-year old needs to begin getting away from his parent’s authority and care to learn to assert his independence. A 3-year old who is taken away from caring parents can be psychologically scarred.

Under the Blanket: Inside the Comfort Zone

Oh wait, so there’s a comfort zone? Yeah, which means if you’re not changing, you’re in it! And that’s perfectly fine. You don’t need to be changing all the time, just know that if you’re all comfy under the covers, you’re not growing. You change when you’re ready (which would probably be about when you’re complaining about your life, if you needed a hint). When you want to move on to the next set of experiences, you know what you have to do.

Unprecedented Opportunity: The Moral Imperative for Growth

You and I are the luckiest people who have ever lived. The simple fact that, for example, you are reading this blog marks you as one of a handful of global elite supported by a complex and highly developed social infrastructure and culture. You enjoy enormous wealth, privilege and opportunity the likes of which have never before been seen in history. (Take financial wealth alone. If you make only $25,000/year, you are among the top 10% of the richest people in the world.)

We are among the first generations for whom self-actualization is a real possibility. We have the opportunity to choose where we live, even becoming global nomads  if we wish. For the first time in history, all the world’s knowledge, it’s sciences, philosophies and religions are open to us. We have now the opportunity and means for deciding our own social roles. We can choose what kind and how many loving relationships we want. We can choose meaningful and fulfilling work. We can enjoy searching for and living our individual life purpose. Even our parents never had such freedom. We are near Gods, creators of our own destinies.

At the same time, the world is coming apart at the seams, offering up monolithic and fearful challenges that threaten life as we know it. This is the inherent danger that lurks at every increasing level of societal development. As we know from Spiral Dynamics, each new level of collective consciousness solves problems of the previous level and also creates new ones.

With the emergence of each new level, not all of human society progresses to the next level. Only those societies and indivduals at the cutting edge. The increasing complexity of cultural conflicts comes as a result that we have people and societies living at -all- levels of consciousness, but with access to the technologies and ideologies of all the other levels. Thus ethnocentrically-centered political and religious leaders with weapons of mass destruction. The distance between the lower and higher levels of consciousness grow. Each level brings greater opportunities for freedom and expanding consciousness, but also greater dangers for fucking it all up on horrific scales. The stakes get ever higher.

We privileged are extremely few. The daily reality for much of the world is brutal. Most live in horrifying poverty, in the midst of war or at the mercy of overt and severe political and religious oppression. As we elite enjoy more freedom and more opportunity, those below experience even more poverty. For poverty exists as the distance between what some have and some do not. The more we have, the more impoverished those without. A moral responsibility lies on us all to close this gap.

There are two ways in which we can meet these challenges, both in the present and in the future. In the now, we must seek out direct solutions through community activism, non-profits and other such initiatives. We use these tools now available to us to express our compassion.

Unfortunately, these short-term solutions are not enough. Most of them do not address the root cause of humanity’s problems, which is a narrow view of self. Lower levels of moral consciousness focus on what is good for the self as individual, one’s family, one’s clan. Most of us do not extend our compassion and understanding beyond an ethnocentric or nationalistic frame. The average level of consciousness is simply not great enough to overcome this selfish self.

Pursuits like self-development and spirituality are critical in raising the average level of global consciousness. It seems selfish to work on oneself when there is so much altruistic work to be done in the here and now (and indeed it must be done, we can’t all leave a man bleeding to death in the street to chase down his killer), but lasting solutions to our 1st-tier (see Spiral Dynamics) problems will only come when a critical mass of us have reached 2nd-tier levels of consciousness. Otherwise we’ll always just be cleaning up after own bloody mess.

For you and I, heaven on earth is within reach for a pittance of blood, sweat and tears. Yet most of us are barely even aware of the opportunities that are laid at our feet. We subconsciously inherit the social structures and values of our cultures, instead of consciously choosing our own and becoming our own personal anarcho-utopian islands of free and full individual men and women.

For the good of all, it is necessary to pursue your own passions and grow into your own true self. Increasing freedom for you is increasing freedom for us all.

Source Meditation Center in Daejeon, Korea

[update July 25, 2009]: Samil Meditation is now known as Source Meditation and is located in Dunsan-dong, behind Time World Department store.

I study meditation (as well as martial arts) with Master Jo here in Daejeon, South Korea. The earlier stages of the meditation course consist of freeing the mind/heart from the past (memories) and future (worry). Techniques are similar to Seduction Community “inner game” as well as other self-development techniques that amount to self-psychotherapy. The later stages involve what you might generally think of meditation as being. You become one with and understand Pure Consciousness (i.e. the ground of being).

The English version of the website was recently launched at http://eng.samm.co.kr/ I did the translation from Korean to English. Here’s an excerpt:

If you’re in Daejeon, contact me at 010-2073-2029 for more info and join our facebook group.

Freedom: Self-Development, Anarchy and Spirituality

Freedom is understood in many different ways by different people at different levels of intellectual, moral and spiritual consciousness. It is the masculine in us all that seeks autonomy and freedom (as noted by David Deida and others). The feminine yearns for fullness and relationship. This is yet another manifestation of emptiness and form as the masculine and feminine. We all have both the masculine and feminine within us whether we are men or women, but these aspects of us may be at very different stages of development. Nevertheless, the masculine within all of us seeks freedom.

Revolution

When I first started ‘waking up’ a few years ago, I became interested in Anarchism. Like many people with a liberal background (see previous article on the individual and socio-cultural environment), I was impressed by how social structures constrain and limit people. 

Most people who don’t take the time to think about themselves and their environment simply adopt the values and culture supported by the social structures around them. Using our individual-environment model, we can say that the environment feeds strongly into the individual, but most individuals simply regurgitate this feed of values and culture back into the environment, contributing little to its growth and evolution. Most of us are like the human batteries in the Matrix (what would we ever use for analogies had that movie never been made? , never questioning the reality or legitimacy of the environment presented to us.

At the time, I determined that if the social structures were forcibly changed, that individuals could be changed, in this case freed, as well. This is true to a large extent, of course, but it also neglects the role of the autonomy of the individual, one of the very ideals we are trying to realize through social change in the first place. That is, it focuses solely on how to change the society to effect change in (”freeing”) the individual. It does not consider how it may be possible to develop the individual to change society.

The Individual is the Society

I became conscious of problems with a solely revolutionary approach to freedom as I began reading Krishnamurti. As a rational Atheist kneeling at the altar of Science, I was naturally skeptical of this don’t-follow-gurus-preaching-guru. But as I read The First and Last Freedom, my skepticism turned to confusion (I was largely inspired to begin having an open relationship even though it has almost nothing to do with what Krishnamurti was saying) and then interest and respect. Although the romantic notion of revolution was alluring, Krishnamurti’s cautioning that all revolutions lead back to the status quo resonated with me. He noted that the means are the end (violence leads to violence) and that revolution, as it is a reaction to a tyrannical government, is ultimately defined by it. A revolution is often just that. Another turn of the wheel. How can revolution effect real change if the individuals in that society don’t also transform themselves?

The T.A.Z.

I reread Hakim Bey’s (pen name of Peter Lamborn Wilson) T.A.Z. and his poetic argument that the individual himself need only free himself to live as a free Anarchist. He simply need not accept the given social structures and cultural values to determine his own freedom. T.A.Z. also takes the Anarchist dinner party analogy to its artistic conclusion. Bey, in his beautiful poetic essays, explored how spaces (like pirate utopias) and the collection of people who inhabit them can espouse many Anarchistic ideals through their emergent behavior. He called such spaces Temporary Autonomous Zones (T.A.Z.s). Early ravers, the Burning Man Festival, the music of Bill Laswell (which is how I came to first know of Bey back in high school) and many others have been influenced by the T.A.Z.

Self-Development

Following Krishnamurti into the present through Deepak Chopra (Chopra was inspired by what Krishnamurit had to say, but believed he would be better able to express it to people) and through Steve Pavlina (his article on 10 reasons never to get a job was the catalyst that first began my journey of awakening in the first place), I was led into the world of self-development. I had once been extremely skeptical and dismissive of self-development material, but I was soon reading and gaining respect for even the likes of self-help giants like Anthony Robbins. Soon, it wasn’t just self-actualization, but other specialized areas like personal finance, seduction and fitness. 

Self-development is ultimately about taking control of your own life according to a lifestyle of your choosing. Its practices and philosophies can be tools in discriminating in what values you choose to inherit from your culture and what you develop in yourself. As you change and become more conscious of yourself and your relationship to society, you influence your environment in turn. This is, of course, the opposite of a political approach to freedom like revolutionary Anarchism, focusing on changing the individual rather than society, with complementary strong and weak points.

Spirituality

Another path opened up to me through Krishnamurti and Chopra, that led me away from faith-in-Science Atheism and towards Spirituality. Many spiritual practices are approaches to finding higher levels of spiritual freedom beyond rather than within the feedback cycle of individual and environment. Traditional approaches have largely found this freedom in the ground of being (ultimate freedom and emptiness before time or space). However, most serious modern spiritual practices are concerned with how to manifest this freedom in the world of form as well as being able to realize your true self in the ground of being. Andrew Cohen interprets this as a Kosmic evolutionary drive towards freedom. Ken Wilber sees this drive as unfolding through the lines and levels of development and quadrants of Integral Theory.

Libertarian Socialism

Earlier this year I finally got around to reading Chomsky on Anarchism. Chomsky is sympathetic to forms of Anarchism that are related to Libertarian Socialism in a lineage that goes back to the Enlightenment. It’s interesting that he stresses both the libertarian, i.e. focusing on the autonomy and freedoms of the individual, and socialist, i.e. celebrating the communion and society of individuals, traditions. Indeed, any philosophy of freedom must understand or at least recognize both sides of the individual and environment relationship to be effective in the world of form (though this understanding can simply be a context for a specialization in either side). 

Integration

Reading Chomsky again after several years and within the context of a more spiritual and integral understanding, I realized many of my interests over the past few years were related in terms of this common theme: the search for freedom. I began to see how these different levels of freedom related and flowed into each other. I believe there is a progression, albeit rough and overlapping, in searching for and understanding freedom.

Spiral Dynamics provides a useful model for understanding this progression, as does any other developmental model like Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

The basic freedom is freedom from want. Once you have your basic needs of food, water and shelter satisfied such they are not short-term concerns, you are probably living in a structured society that helps provide these resources. But although such a society frees you at one level (basic needs), it imposes restrictions that constrain you in other ways. This is true going all the way up the hierarchy of freedoms to spiritual forms of freedom, each level solves problems of the previous level and creates new ones for the next level to solve.

With this understanding, we can see how self-development tools helps free the individual in several important ways. Self-imposed individual psychological restrictions can be broken through with psychotherapy, dream analysis, seduction community “inner game” techniques, meditative exercises and behavior and habit changing methods. Personal finance, Tim Ferris-style Lifestyle design, and entrepreneurship can help free the individual from debt and time- and wage-slavery. When “free time” is abundant and finances under control and sufficient, one is free to discover one’s own creative passions (one of the Anarchist ideals). As more individuals on the leading edge achieve self-determination and self-actualization, the society and culture itself will advance.

This doesn’t mean that bottom-up change is the only way to go. Top-down approaches are also needed. Chomsky argues that Anarchists and Libertarian Socialists should support social programs in government if they are aligned with their values even though they increase the scope of government and its involvement. Whereas the ultimate goal of an Anarchist agenda is to be free of hierarchical government, religious and other forms of control, the path towards that goal follows a progressive hierarchy of steps. Within a Spiral Dynamics and Integral Theory understanding, this makes perfect sense. There is no “skipping levels”. From “blue”, a society must progress to “orange” and then “green” (though of course, in any society you will have individuals at many different levels). This is why if you have a revolution attempting to build new social structures to match a Utopian Anarchist (or other ideological) ideal, it doesn’t work and you get something that is pretty similar to what you started with. The level of social consciousness must develop progressively through a hierarchy of developmental levels before the society at large is ready and responsible enough for such an ideal. That being said, we need the leading edge of social activists and revolutionaries to ensure not only that a society’s social structure upholds its values and morals, but stretches them and pushes them up towards the next level.

The modern spiritual practitioner, if she is serious, can find freedom in the ground of being through meditation and contemplation. Spiritual practice alone helps to literally raise the level of consciousness of a culture. But the spiritual practitioner can bring more to the world of form by developing her other lines (moral, psychological) or by engaging in social activism. By doing so, she expresses compassion for the world of form and those within it by helping them reach the next level of freedom.

As in Defined by Limitations, in each level in the hierarchy she pushes beyond the limits of the previous one, embracing a bit more of the world in compassion. The search for freedom in this world is, like the limitations it pushes past, never-ending, but that does not mean that there is no progression. We can continue to discover and expand into higher levels of freedom, becoming progressively more loving and compassionate for all of manifestation.

Defined By Limitations

Two Faces

God has two faces. Emptiness (無, 무 in Korean or wu in Mandarin) and form (有, 유 in Korean or you in Mandarin). Emptiness is no color, no sound, no taste, no smell. It is instead infinite possibility. But it is also without relationship, without experience. God can only be in relationship with itself through you and I, the experiencer, confined and defined by the limits of our manifest form.

It is only because we are limited, with boundaries marked off by skin and edges of compassion, that we can engage one another in relationship.

Making Love

What is the difference between fucking, having sex and making love (correlating respectively to Deida’s 1st, 2nd and 3rd stage man/woman)? When you fuck, you are doing something to someone. You are the subject. Your partner is the object. You are fully engaged in your own experience.

When you have sex, you are interested not only in your experience but also in your partner’s experience. Is she also experiencing pleasure? You can relate to her. You are in relationship.

When you make love, your sense of self begins to fade away. Yes, you are experiencing pleasure. Yes, so is the one in your embrace, but you are in the movement from relationship to becoming one, to love. “God is love.” But God can only experience love through that movement from relationship to one. 

Don’t get me wrong, though, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with fucking or just having sex. In fact, you may move through all 3 states in one encounter (though in my experience making love is very rare and profoundly beautiful).

God Mode and Wimp Mode

Limitations allow us, then, experience, relationship and love. And challenge, the spice of life, if you will. Seriously, how fun would a video game be that only had a “God mode” (aptly named) be? Not very. Nor is the polar opposite of “God mode”; let’s call it wimp mode. That is, never accepting the challenges of your limitations, but staying comfortably within their boundaries, your spirit withering away.

Staying within your limitations narrows the definition of who you are, both how you are perceived by others and how you understand yourself.

Ken Wilber has mentioned that development in terms of levels of consciousness generally levels off at around the early 20s and then stays constant until around one’s 60s (the only known effective method of moving up in levels of consciousness is meditation, by the way). Note that these are your prime working years. The turbulent challenges of childhood and adolescence have been largely overcome and you become largely defined by your daily routines and the role your profession lends you (”This is Sungwon. He’s a PhD student at KAIST”). Then you hit retirement and you began to question again, who you are and what it’s really all about. Facing the ultimate limiting factor of death probably doesn’t hurt moving the reflective process along, either.

Compassion

In seduction and other self-development communities, there’s a lot of talk of self-limiting beliefs and pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone. It’s true, your beliefs limit you and your limitations define who you are. The near-infinite amount of stimulus and information present in any given moment is filtered through your beliefs before it reaches your conscious mind. You literally cannot perceive anything outside of your belief systems. Conversely, everything that you do perceive is done so in terms of your belief systems. So what happens when you accept the challenge of your limits and start expanding their boundaries, pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone? You are able to perceive and understand more of the available universe. Simply put, you become more compassionate. 

Why do you become more compassionate? When you push beyond your limits, you literally expand the definition of who you are, what you identify with. You move from being in relationship to a certain sliver of the universe, to becoming one with it. This is love.

Limits Without End

Limitations, however, are limitless. There is no end. Many people have expectations of happiness based on reaching certain goals. When I’m rich, I’ll be happy. But then you’re not. Popular culture largely blames this on money itself, but there’s nothing wrong with money (while having money is no guarantee of happiness, not having any is generally a prescription for suffering).

Unhappiness in this case stems rather from the fact that making money is no longer a challenge, and that you may have let other dimensions of who you are atrophy. There’s nothing wrong with doing what you’re good at, in fact you should let yourself be an expression of that brilliance, but I encourage you to put some time and effort into areas that you have neglected. 

Push beyond yourself and embrace the world around you.

The Virtues of Immodesty

Learning to take a compliment

I live in Korea. Invariably, whenever you get into a friendly conversation with a Korean, they will compliment you one way or another.

“Your Korean is really good!” 

“You look like Jonny Depp!”

“You’ve got such a small head! It’s this big!” 

The last said while protruding a clenched fist resembling a gesture that would be extremely offensive in some European countries, I imagine. (And yes, saying the size of someone’s head is diminutive is a compliment.)

I used to respond with modesty as good manners, American or Confucian, dictate. 

“Oh, it’s not that good.”

“No, it’s just my dreadlocks.”

“Oh, well, I’ve always thought large heads were cool!”

But there’s nothing wrong in taking a compliment. In fact, I’ve always felt somewhat uncomfortable with answering modestly, as if there was something embarrassing and dishonest about it.

“Thank you”, however, is simple and beautiful. It’s honest and direct. It implicitly shows that you’re capable of making a real connection with someone right away rather than tip-toeing around protocol.

Loving commitment

Now suppose someone found out that I was in a band. They’d ask me what instrument I played and I’d qualify it with “…but I’m not that good.” Same with martial arts. “Yeah, I do this really amazing martial art called Gicheonmun as well as Haedonggumdo, which is based on Gicheon, but I’m not that good.”

Automatic responses are one of the banes of self-development and living consciously. Being modest when not necessary is a special strain of automatic response that directly shapes your identity negatively.

“…but I’m not that good.” 

This mantra of modesty becomes your reality. You portray yourself as mediocre to others and that becomes your identity without and within. 

What happens when you own up to your interests? When you publicly declare your love for your passions?

“Oh, you’re in a band. What instrument do you play?”

“Bass. I’m a bassist”.

Yeah. Rock that. \m/

You begin to identify with your passions. I don’t just play bass. I’m a bassist. I don’t just have a black belt in Haedonggumdo, I’m a martial artist. Of course, I really need to practice bass more if I want to play at the level of my bandmates. Of course, I really need to polish my sword forms to live up to the black belt I’m entitled to wear. But simply identifying myself with these pursuits states my enduring commitment to them. 

That’s right, I love music!!! I love training my body to flow!!! (here used as David Deida does, see Function, Flow and Glow) There is no need to be secretive with these loves. They are not jealous and our love grows stronger in the sharing. 

Once you’ve identified with your loves, you begin to learn to fully engage with them. When I practice, I am engaged in practice, not in thoughts of deliciously greasy thin crust pizza or the inviting soft curves of a woman’s body. When I train, I am engaged in training, not in the subtleties of the presentation I have to give tomorrow or if I will have enough money this month to make my investing goals.

Embrace.

Identify.

Love.

I’m alive when my passions scream.

Modesty be damned.